So, in conclusion...The meeting went something like so...
I have been given a lay off letter with a termination date of September 30 due to the grant I work under not being released yet. Until this time, I am sweating bullets (I need to look up what this actually means and where originates from because it feels I am sweating more than mere bullets here...more like profuse amounts of army issue military vehicles right now) that the grant will be released, writing letters to my Congressmen/women, losing sleep, and wondering what my supervisor/director actually thinks of me. I know one should separate the personal from the professional, but having worked in my agency for 5+ years, I am well aware of the good work and excellent community partnerships I have brought forth, as well as the clients who I have served and the team player I have been and continue to be (though now I question just how disposable members of our administrative team may actually see their staff as behind their expressions and smiles).
So...decompressing this week, working on a strategic plan to assist me with moving forward and keeping my mind in a positive, if not bit frantic, mind set. Payson begins high school next week, I have a looming court date, and I need to borrow money from my (ex)mother in law, which I have been putting off but am now at point where I needed the money yesterday or possibly even 2 years ago and need to build the nerve to just talk to her. I am so not good with procrastination, I just do not do it well at all.
On another note...regardless of the things in my life I have going on and that seemingly would be sucking me dry, for the most part, sweating bullets or vehicles aside, I am happy. I am able to see new paths before me and ideas that I would not have envisioned prior to this unforeseen news hitting me like a ton of mo'fro' bricks on Monday. The past 72 hours have been a bit of a slippy slope but I haven't managed to see any thing terrible, really, maybe some shadows along the way but those are the parts of me I need to make nice with or befriend any way.
My friends are amazing. Supportive. Giving. Nourishing. Enriching. Encouraging. Kind. Remarkable. Respectful. Faithful. Fantastic. Patient. Loyal. In the now with me. Thank you. And you. And you.
I am working on a huge project tonight, putting together a plan on ways I can manage to retain employment with my agency. How I hope to break it down to stay on. I am in flux, and in flux, there is flow, expansion and most of all, wonder. I feel the support of the Universe and of my heart and I am happy to let nature have her way with me. I have answers to questions I forgot I needed to ask of my self and now I am ready.
In Peace, Love, Light x